#127

here are a couple polaroids that i took this morning:

 

these look much better in person, scout's honor. i'll be posting some digital photos in the next few days, as well as a ton of drawings and other recent photo projects all throughout the month of february.

*

three things:

1. i'm sorry i've been terrible at updating this blog. i don't know why, but every time i start to think about posting any of my new pictures and artwork and poems here i remember how behind i am and instead of even trying to catch up i put it off until i'm even more behind. it never stops.

i don't know what's wrong with me. 

2. i shot my first wedding recently, a beautiful thing in morro bay, and i wasn't expecting to feel so many emotions in the process. the worst part is that i don't even know how to put any of those emotions into words. i can't explain.

i don't know what's wrong with me.

3. i don't know why i'm writing this here, because it's definitely personal, and definitely not something i would want just anyone, particularly a certain someone, to see, but: 

i miss being able to say "i want to go home" without home being you. or actually, i really just miss when it was okay for home to be you. because i miss you. and i love you. and i wish things were better. i wish i knew what i wanted when you knew what you wanted, and vice versa.

i don't know what's wrong with me.

*(this post will self destruct really soon - idk when, man.)

#126

here is a drawing that i did last month of pattie boyd and george harrison. it's based on this photograph.

i miss drawing a lot. i mean, i still do quite a bit of doodles and quick sketches and i've been starting to paint again, but i just always feel like i'm not drawing enough. i guess i feel like that about a lot of things. i never do anything that i really want to do.

in other news, i don't know if i ever mentioned it on this blog, but i'm part of the juvenilia team now. you can see all the stuff that i make for them here. also, i'm working on photo posts for this blog, so those should start up again fairly soon.

i hope you are all having nice days and lovely lives. sometimes i wish i could hug everyone on the internet, even the people that i don't know, so i wrap my arms around my monitor and pretend like i'm doing just that. sometimes i wish i could hug everyone in the world, even the people i don't know, so i wrap my arms around my sister's globe and pretend like i'm doing just that.

#125

poor little blog! i've been slacking and i know it. i haven't abandoned this space completely though; i'll be back very soon, my sweets.

#124

july third:

what is it about shoes that makes me feel so goddamn nostalgic? i mean, i had that pair of forever 21 saddle shoes for about a year and a half and i walked them into the ground, but no matter how pretty the replacements were, i still felt like i lost a piece of myself when i picked them up from payless. and i hate to admit it, but i couldn't bring myself to get rid of those old ones. they're hiding in my closet still. most of july was a mess of emotions and confusion and feeling really lonely even when i had a lot.

later on that day--a late night trip to barnes and noble with gabrielle and liam and lexi.

independence day fireworks, as photographed from the tent that thea, sarah, jonathan, john, and i were huddled up in on july 4th:

a trip to mrs. bidwell's favorite thrift store and then huntington beach with thea, justin, and alden on july 6th:














picking up chris from the airport on july 9th:




visiting bobby on july 10th:



random self portraits taken on july 11th:






artwalk los angeles with lexi, matt, liam, and gabrielle on july 12th (the night those occupy la riots broke out):






a trip to the dairy with lexi and rachel on july 13th:










chris and alden playing at the fair on july 14th:















picking up chris' bass on july 15th:

(i rode in the backseat of alden's car while it got towed. dreams really can come true.)


(stay tuned tomorrow for the second half of july)