April 15, 2015


quick life update:

  • my tumblr was deleted for reasons unbeknownst to me. it was pretty fucking devastating to lose my entire teenage online scrapbook in one day.
  • i finally finally finally put a bookend on the shitty, suffocating, failing relationship i had been in for 3 years. i kept holding onto hope that things would change for the better, but after realizing what a healthy relationship should look like, and talking with some of my closest friends about my feelings, i came to the understanding that things would never be right with him. prolonging things would only make it worse. it sucks to feel worthless and unloved by someone you care a lot about. letting him go was one of the best decisions i've made in recent years. i feel so completely free now -- it's incredible!
  • i've started forming really strong friendships and being a better/happier person in general. i feel like i can finally be myself around people without having to worry about being judged. 
  • i've also started opening myself up to all the love that's around me. i know it sounds incredibly corny, but it's true! i have one friend in particular who has earned a special place in my heart in the last few weeks. it's a nice feeling to know that somebody has my back in a very selfless way, and will care for me unconditionally. we joke around and cuddle a lot, and talk about music and art and emotions. sometimes we smoke on the roof outside his window. it's all very virgin suicides.
  • i got a full time job that i initially hated, but i am learning to be okay with it. a lot of my coworkers are international and very kind. they give me homemade bread and hummus and other treats. my supervisors seem to like me, too. 
  • i've been throwing myself back into making art whenever i can. i don't have a lot of time to do all the things i want to do, but i feel like i'm making a lot of personal progress. 
  • i went on a date (!!!) to the beautiful crystal springs garden with a boy very near & dear to my heart on friday and i'm going to a party with a trumpet player on saturday, so i'm giddy with anticipation and excitement for all the new experiences being thrown right at me. 
all that being said, here is a quick sketch of dylan that i made the other night in his room:

i made it with a felt tip pen, prismacolor pencils, and metallic markers. i'm hoping to make a full series of drawings of him, as well as drawings of other friends, if they'll let me.