July 19, 2013


  1. on monday i checked out a stack of books from the library. mainly books by camus and nietzsche, plus poetry by anne sexton, and a dream dictionary to decode all the strange things that have been happening in my brain when i'm asleep. i feel good about this.
  2. yesterday i babysat for a little girl i haven't watched since her toddler days. she's eight now. her parents recently divorced. i only know this because she told me herself. 
  3. today i talked to chris. out of nowhere he pointed out how differently i interact with the world than everyone else he knows. he said i really shouldn't feel ugly inside or outside or anywhere else anymore. i don't know how to stop these feelings. i hate myself more and more each day. i don't want to be inside of myself anymore.
  4. sometimes i feel like my heart has disconnected itself from my body, and it's floating, disintegrated, in the air around me.  
  5. whenever i get to my exit on the freeway, i debate skipping home altogether and driving as far as i can get on whatever's in the gas tank. starting a new life. changing my name, living on the road, missing nobody, loving everybody.
  6. i want to be a completely new person.   
  7. everyday i keep repeating to myself, i can walk away, i can walk away.
p.s. i'm going to post stuff here really soon, friends. please forgive me for my absence.


  1. ^what taylah said. you are beautiful, incredible, and ridiculously talented; you have such a distinct/wonderfully different way of looking at things in everyday life. i don't even know you but i think you are a magnificent person! also i relate with 4-7 only too well and all i can say is, you are YOU. no one else. and you don't have to run away & change your name to start fresh :)

    i hope you have a lovely week!

  2. Oh my.. Anna.
    I wish I could play 'My sister Grenadine' to you in this very moment.

    'So how to breathe in this cold thin air
    It seems like you have never come this far
    But inside the trees summer grows older
    As you wish for a hurricane'


constructive criticism is nice, but please be gentle with my little heart. also, spam is not very nice. do you email your mother with those fingers?!