#12

it's my birthday today and now i'm sixteen.


i've been debating whether to hop the fence and take better pictures of this camper for two years now. i just love it so much. it's kind of strange, but i keep tabs on all of my favorite trinkets and items around my neighborhood. i like to check on them and bring flowers to leave in fence slots and tree branches so i can see when my last visit was.

i recently discovered that i had two exposures left in my favorite polaroid 600 camera. i thought they'd be expired beyond use as they've been in that camera for over a year now, but to my surprise, they actually turned out fine.


mad libs from summer, a flower wreath i made at camp, some berries lexi and gabrielle picked, and a little bunch of mushrooms i found while out walking in january.


today is also the birthday of one of my very favorite albums. i started this thing last year where it's the first record i listen to when i wake up on my birthday.

#11

just a rough sketch of kurt cobain made out of boredom yesterday. graphite pencil plus black english tea stains on normal sketch paper with organic sugar sprinkled on top.

  walmart raised the price of film development again. it was only by a dollar and ten cents per roll, but it just made me want to cry. it sort of sucks having all these ideas because my ideas have become more mature and advanced which makes executing them a lot harder. i just feel so unhappy right now. i wish i knew more people who could help me, or that i actually had a job at a magazine. i can't get a job in my town. i can't drive a car. i don't have the props, money, models, locations. it's like i have all the pattern pieces, but not enough fabric and thread to actually bring anything together. and i'm not good at anything else. i'm not good at being a teenager. i guess i'm overreacting, but i really can't say without embarrassment how many nights i've spent these past few weeks just lying in my bed and feeling sad that i'm not going anywhere. and it's like i've done so much and tried so hard and spent so much money on film and cameras and i haven't really got much to show for it. nothing tangible, at least. i'm sorry guys. this wasn't meant to be so long and whiny, i just don't have anyone i feel comfortable talking to. i went to therapy twice in the summer but i hated it and lied my way out. i just don't want my family to worry about me. because i'm fine, i really am. 

#10

these are from my collaboration with raul romo, shot on january 23rd. all in all, this shoot took over six months to plan! i had just gotten back from camp and had a pesky sty in my right eye, but other than that i had a grand time with raul and the girls. models are eartha hubbell, aryanah romo and danika kidd. clothing is by kelsey genna. 


film:



































digital:








 i need help narrowing down which photos to add to my website, so i'd really appreciate if you guys could tell me which you like best.